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Narf! September 29, 2008

Posted by aries trash in economy, gov't, money, politics, wall street.
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Pinky, our economy is in some deep shit.

Mindblow September 10, 2008

Posted by aries trash in mindblow, mindless self indulgence, music.
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Well furballs, it seems like MSI has finally come out with a new album. It’s called IF and it’s pretty good. It sounds different yet the same like their previous stuff. It’s dancable like always and I love it!!

Here’s apparently the first single off the album. It’s called Never Wanted to Dance. Take a listen. It’s quite catchy.


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I’m Amused September 10, 2008

Posted by aries trash in Barack Obama, Election 2008, John McCain, Sarah Palin.
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Well, good afternoon my skunkmuffins!! As you can see, I am highly amused. ^^ My previous post has generated so many views and the most comments I’ve ever gotten for one ever. Plus, I pissed people off!!

My mission: ACCOMPLISHED!

Though, it is really sad. People obviously care more about what other people say and write about that damn Palin woman, than what I have to say and write about Jury Duty [and that was a funny post too!]. It’s really sad, cause she probably doesn’t care about what people say and write about you. I mean, I know Americans are curious, because she’s a woman running for VP and she’s from the shit-middle-of-nowhere Alaska, but people, I think we’re doing a Britney. [And if you don't know what I mean, then think harder!]

Like, when did Obama [have you noticed he looks like a mouse?] call her a pig? I thought he said “You can put lipstick on a pig. It’s still a pig.” I mean, did you hear those words too, or am I simply delusional? I did not hear Palin’s name in those sentences. And isn’t that a common phrase anyway? Clearly, people didn’t get the point. Didn’t he continue on with “You can wrap an old fish in a piece of paper called change. It’s still gonna stink….We’ve had enough of the same old thing.”? I thought it was a good metaphor. Not some crazy sexist quote.

That’s another thing that bugs the freaking shit out of me! All the little stupid stuff everyone gets all riled up on, like Palin’s daughter being pregnant all [like anyone really should care about that. Shit happens all the time.] but I see nobody complaining about the issues. FTW?!?

I mean, like I’ve said before, I have nothing against McCain. He’s an old fart, but you know it’s the truth. He’s too freakin old to be prez. But that’s pretty much all I have against him. Palin, on the other hand, freaks the shit out of me, and that’s only from hearing her speech at the GOP convention. I get vibes. Her vibe freaks me out. And, I think honestly, I just want to see a black man prez…even if he’s half black. I think it’s time we get some color in that damn White House. [Hence, I'm Obama '08...at least in my head.]

Oh, and FYI, I’m not registered to vote anyway. So what I believe shouldn’t freakin matter to anyone except the little people in my head who get so much joy at seeing other people freak the shit out.

P.S. I acknowledge that the list is fake. Thank you.

Palin’s Banned Booklist September 9, 2008

Posted by aries trash in Election 2008, John McCain, Sarah Palin, books, politics.
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Okay my fingerlicking lads, you all know, or are at least aware that I’m all Obama/Biden ‘08. So, it would be in my nature to dislike McCain and Palin. Not that I had any problem with McCain in the first place, but gee golly does that Sarah Palin woman freak the shit out of me. She’s like the anti-Christ! I swear to it! She is a gun toting, pro-war, pro-Iraq, pro Life, anti-gay rights, ex-pagent creepy lady and now she has a problem with books! WTF?!

So, if you haven’t already heard, Palin has a list of books she wanted to ban at Wasilla Library and probably would try to ban if she were in office and possibly had the power to. It is the most RIDICULOUS list I’ve ever fucking seen. For reals.

A Clockwork Orange by Anthony Burgess
A Wrinkle in Time by Madeleine L’Engle
Annie on My Mind by Nancy Garden
As I Lay Dying by William Faulkner
Blubber by Judy Blume
Brave New World by Aldous Huxley
Bridge to Terabithia by Katherine Paterson
Canterbury Tales by Chaucer
Carrie by Stephen King
Catch-22 by Joseph Heller
Christine by Stephen King
Confessions by Jean-Jacques Rousseau
Cujo by Stephen King
Curses, Hexes, and Spells by Daniel Cohen
Daddy’s Roommate by Michael Willhoite
Day No Pigs Would Die by Robert Peck
Death of a Salesman by Arthur Miller
Decameron by Boccaccio
East of Eden by John Steinbeck
Fallen Angels by Walter Myers
Fanny Hill (Memoirs of a Woman of Pleasure) by John Cleland
Flowers For Algernon by Daniel Keyes
Forever by Judy Blume
Grendel by John Champlin Gardner
Halloween ABC by Eve Merriam
Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone by J.K. Rowling
Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets by J.K. Rowling
Harry Potter and the Prizoner of Azkaban by J.K. Rowling
Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire by J.K. Rowling
Have to Go by Robert Munsch
Heather Has Two Mommies by Leslea Newman
How to Eat Fried Worms by Thomas Rockwell
Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain
I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings by Maya Angelou
Impressions edited by Jack Booth
In the Night Kitchen by Maurice Sendak
It’s Okay if You Don’t Love Me by Norma Klein
James and the Giant Peach by Roald Dahl
Lady Chatterley’s Lover by D.H. Lawrence
Leaves of Grass by Walt Whitman
Little Red Riding Hood by Jacob and Wilhelm Grimm
Lord of the Flies by William Golding
Love is One of the Choices by Norma Klein
Lysistrata by Aristophanes
More Scary Stories in the Dark by Alvin Schwartz
My Brother Sam Is Dead by James Lincoln Collier and Christopher Collier
My House by Nikki Giovanni
My Friend Flicka by Mary O’Hara
Night Chills by Dean Koontz
Of Mice and Men by John Steinbeck
On My Honor by Marion Dane Bauer
One Day in The Life of Ivan Denisovich by Alexander Solzhenitsyn
One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest by Ken Kesey
One Hundred Years of Solitude by Gabriel Garcia Marquez
Ordinary People by Judith Guest
Our Bodies, Ourselves by Boston Women’s Health Collective
Prince of Tides by Pat Conroy
Revolting Rhymes by Roald Dahl
Scary Stories 3: More Tales to Chill Your Bones by Alvin Schwartz
Scary Stories in the Dark by Alvin Schwartz
Separate Peace by John Knowles
Silas Marner by George Eliot
Slaughterhouse-Five by Kurt Vonnegut, Jr.
Tarzan of the Apes by Edgar Rice Burroughs
The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain
The Adventures of Tom Sawyer by Mark Twain
The Bastard by John Jakes
The Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger
The Chocolate War by Robert Cormier
The Color Purple by Alice Walker
The Devil’s Alternative by Frederick Forsyth
The Figure in the Shadows by John Bellairs
The Grapes of Wrath by John Steinbeck
The Great Gilly Hopkins by Katherine Paterson
The Handmaid’s Tale by Margaret Atwood
The Headless Cupid by Zilpha Snyder
The Learning Tree by Gordon Parks
The Living Bible by William C. Bower
The Merchant of Venice by William Shakespeare
The New Teenage Body Book by Kathy McCoy and Charles Wibbelsman
The Pigman by Paul Zindel
The Seduction of Peter S. by Lawrence Sanders
The Shining by Stephen King
The Witches by Roald Dahl
The Witches of Worm by Zilpha Snyder
Then Again, Maybe I Won’t by Judy Blume
To Kill A Mockingbird by Harper Lee
Twelfth Night by William Shakespeare
Webster’s Ninth New Collegiate Dictionary by the Merriam-Webster Editorial Staff
Witches, Pumpkins, and Grinning Ghosts: The Story of the Halloween Symbols by Edna Barth
 

Okay, there are SO many problems with this list. I mean, okay, I get all of the witch/wizard books. I mean, Harry Potter has been banned how many times? But some of the other ones are just odd. I mean, Shakespeare? Is she on crack? The most known writer in the history of the world and she is trying to ban two of his masterpieces?!?! [Btw, The Merchant of Venice is my favorite.]

O.M.G. and she has these weird reasons she’d like to ban them. Like Huxley’s A Brave New World: it’s about utopia and promotes socialism. Okay, so why not ban Orwell’s 1984 as well? And Salinger’s The Catcher in the Rye: it encourages “morbid” teenage individualism. FTW? Judy Blume’s Blubber: because the title sounds sexual. Faulkner’s As I Lay Dying: it uses the N-word. Like for reals. The book takes place during the freakin American Civil War! King’s Carrie: young Christian girls shouldn’t know about menstruation. O.M.G. They’re going to find out some day! How to Eat Fried Worms: it promotes unsanitary eating habits! It’s a CHILDREN’S BOOK! I mean, come on!

Though, I was mildly surprise that the DaVinci Code wasn’t on the list. Doesn’t that go against everything the Bible says? I mean, what crock is Jesus had sex with Mary Magdalen and had a child? WTF? The Bible does not mention that at all. Oh, how about Plath’s The Bell Jar? I mean, it promotes homosexuality as well as “morbid” individualism, quite similar to The Catcher in the Rye. Not to mention a suicidal attempt. Oh, and the reason why she wants to ban One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest was because it shines a negative light on the American Medical Association when it comes to treatment of mental illnesses. Um, might as well ban Girl, Interrupted as well?

Geez…has this woman even read any of these books? I mean, I’ve only been alive for twenty short years, and I’ve read more than HALF of these books and see absolutely no problem with any of them. I mean, they’re freakin books! Fiction! NOT REAL!!! And to ban one book, but not other books that pose the same themes and motifs, that’s a bit hypocritical don’t you think?

Oh…and like half of these books were made into movies. Is she planing on banning those too?

I Feel Like I’m in a Psych Ward September 9, 2008

Posted by aries trash in Barack Obama, Jury Duty, New York, gov't, random, television.
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Good afternoon my little cuckolds! Lovely rain isn’t it?

Well, it is 1:08 PM on September 9, 2007 right now for me (and the let-me-pull-my-chair-into-my ass guy in front of me) and I’m currently accessing the interweb at a federal court building, which apparently has placed a ban on perezhilton.com. Such blasphemy! So, I’m currently out of touch with the celebrity world and have nothing else better to do than to blog to you about it.

Why am I at a federal court building, you may be asking yourselves? Well lads, I, quite unfortunately, have Jury Duty and have been sitting in the same room for the pass five and a half–six hours…not counting the whole freakin day yesterday, doing absolutely nothing, since they haven’t called anyone yet. It is currently raining now, though there are no windows in this room, I know this because the bottom of my jeans are wet from running outside to get a sandwich from the Subway on the corner of Canal St and Lafayette. Yes my skunkmonkeys, I am in Chinatown. And I would go get some bubble tea to cheer me up (like I did yesterday), but it’s shit raining outside and my shoes are wet. Plus, I might lose my seat by the electrical plug.

Jury Duty is….interesting. Okay, I lied. I feel like I’m in a psych ward. Everywhere I could possibly look, there is a person sitting down with his/her head up against a wall, the back of the chair, with their mouths hanging wide open, dead asleep. It’s funny, at least I chuckled to myself about it. It looks like they were all drugged and thrown into the same room together.  It’s hilarious. Then again, I’m the only one laughing.

There was this guy yesterday though, who made me cry. I was sitting in the TV Room (yes, there is a TV Room. The TV apparently only plays four channels…CNN, MSNBC, NY1, and some other News channel) with some other people, who were all asleep, when this guy comes in and takes a seat opposite me. Now, I’m watching CNN, cause that was what was on at the time, and this guy comes in making so much noise as he settles in the seat and begins eating some Drake’s Cake (I don’t know if it was a coffee cake, Funny Bones, or Ring Ding).

So, we were sitting and watching CNN (was reading the crawl, cause that is where all the important shit is broadcast on) and Barack Obama comes on, at least part of a speech he had recently made. Anyway, the Ring Ding guy looks around with that face one gets when they can’t hear the television and are wondering if others can’t hear it too. He looks at me, but yeah, granted the audio in that particular segment was low, but I heard it fine. Anyway, the guy looks at me like “Can you hear the TV?” and I just looked back at the crawl.

So anyhoo, this guy, he kept looking around at everybody, who were all still sleeping, then gets up and stares at the little black box on the wall, which the people at the place told us all not to touch cause it wasn’t the cable box. Anyway, the guy stares at the box, then proceeds to stare at the television set looking for God only knows what. And I’m just looking at this guy, like “If it’s too low for you raise the volume.” But I didn’t think he knew where the button was…anyway, he sits back down and begins to look around again at everybody, with that same hopeless look on his fat freakin face. At that point, I felt the hysterics begin to creep up from my stomach. Oh, I wanted to cry out in laughter!

So, the guy gets up again and looks at the TV, this time a little bit closer. He finds the volume button and raises it, then lowers it, then raises it again. Again, God only know why. Then he looks at me with this pride face of joy and accomplishment like he was saying “That’s better isn’t it? Again, I ignored him and continued to read the crawl.

Oh boy, what civic duty I’ve done for my fellow countrymen.